When I went to write my poem ‘Control’ this spilled out first.
When I was younger, I learned to let people control me because I grew up with an overbearing and abusive parent.
As I got older, my wild side was consistently and often maliciously squashed by societal expectations of women and insecure men who couldn’t comprehend loyalty from such a wild child. It was always on me to be dutiful, impress the parents, smile, and take all the criticism while the boys did what they wanted and let me take the heat.
My dreams were crushed over and over—because I didn’t understand my worth enough to leave—not until I’d tried so hard to make things right and couldn’t. Or the men cheated, or hit me, or verbally abused me into a mental cage, or various other things. I try to see the light in everyone but not everyone deserves that. I know that now, and yet I still try because it’s in my nature to do so. The difference is, I don’t try as often or as long anymore.
I get it now.
Now when I’ve lost so much time to abuse.
Time isn’t fair, but I say, do what you want no matter your age. Run naked on a beach, wear a see through top with tape over your nipples (or not), dance naked in the woods. Do your best not to scar children though. Because whether you like kids or not, you were once a child, and if you’re here reading this, probably a scarred one.
People may not like your choices, but it’s YOUR life.
Be safe, but be free.
Be capable, but be wild.
And fuck what everyone else thinks of you because people are uncomfortable with what they don’t understand and seek to squash it. Or they get jealous they don’t have the guts to do it themselves.
It’s better to live free, happy, and alone
over suppressed, abused, and malcontent because of love that is not love. The best part of living free, is you attract people who try to understand you, some who just get it, and people who aren’t afraid to let you be you.