No, darling.
My feelings don’t need catering
Though you’re welcome to stop
the excuses for that person
when they act like a shitty human
That’s not catering to me
It’s being a good human
If you want to cater to me,
bring donuts
✨Deferential Devil✨
I want to talk about the universe,
and the psychology of people
The amazing way someone creates
and how it makes me feel
We can discuss the weather,
but only about how it forms
Let’s talk about dreams,
ambitions and failed auditions
Let’s reach for the stars,
paint constellations in our hearts
and sail the sky,
with whimsy at the helm
✨Deferential Devil✨
He carried me on his shoulders
and loved me through and through
I always felt important
when I saw his eyes of blue
So when the call came
and woke the dead of night
It painted a ghastly picture
of a tired mans glassy flight
The holiday became a sad one
and pain lingered every year
sometimes fading, sometimes present
but always exceptionally clear
✨Deferential Devil✨
Even in these dark times
there’s goodness
It’s always the little things
which shine brightest in the dark
A smile, a laugh, a pets love
hold onto those moments
when everything is crashing down
they will anchor you to the light
✨Deferential Devil✨
I want my son to cry
as well as he smiles
because it means
he’s allowing himself
to hurt to heal
that he‘s okay to feel
pain instead of hiding it
✨Deferential Devil✨
Sometimes this anger over old trauma
writhes into my heart and takes hold
And I want to hurt the one who hurt me
so he knows my pain to his cold
But I keep it tamped down
so it doesn’t burst free
or take another with it
into the depths
of the sea
✨Deferential Devil✨
I dealt with
Constant bipolar swings,
and lies upon lies
His jealousy, and economic strife,
and the piece of him he wanted to hide
He gave me
Examples on how I should dress
A kitchen knife to slit his wrists
Reason to doubt but swore he was true
Confusion and pain, yet was I, who was vain
He told me
My check was too small
but he spent it just the same
while his slept soundly in the bank
I was the problem, and he couldn’t win
The way I ate would make me fat
though most thought me too thin
I learned
After waking from that nightmare
after cutting all ties with him
to take the offered lessons
so I’d never do that again
✨Deferential Devil✨
Sure,
you can say anything
to those in your tribe
But
is it really your tribe
if you disrespect those in it
by hurting, then shaming them
when they speak up
✨Deferential Devil✨
Threads of thoughts trailing
anxiety after them all
in chaos and controlling
every effect on my brain
biting, baring, and binding until
I’m under duress and undressed
my soul split and suffering
✨Deferential Devil✨
Tonight I drown in anxiety
for unspoken things
and its only the whispers
through the trees
to whom I can speak
✨Deferential Devil✨
