I never said…
his support thrilled me
or how I adored his laugh
that he made my heart quiver
and made my spine shiver
How I missed his presence
when he was busy
and that I, who hates phones,
wanted to speak all day
But I was too afraid,
said nothing
and now that’s what I hold
✨Deferential Devil✨
My heart longs sometimes
unbidden and soulfully,
for the days, but especially the people
whose creativity made everyday
feel everlasting and fantastical
The magic, mayhem, and laughter
spun by their fingertips
will forever remain
in the shadows and rafters
of a tavern in a mystical land
and deep within my heart
✨Deferential Devil✨
Musings on an interaction:
Our society is so fucked up, that when I told a friend what I desired in a (male) partner, I was told I was asking too much.
“Too much” included: someone I’m sexually attracted to, nice and makes me laugh, a guy who takes care of himself—isn’t careless with his mental health and physical health, but which doesn’t mean he’s a bodybuilder/buff-, doesn’t treat me like a sex toy (i.e. constant one sided sexual interactions), and not abusive. If that’s reaching for the stars, I’ll reach for the fucking stars. If I never meet a man like that, so be it. I’m happy alone too.
The most messed up thing about this, is the idea that a man like this doesn’t exist, or that he’s so rare, I’ll never meet him. Honest, loving, attractive, and fun guys exist who don’t expect sex dolls for a partner. And lets not forget that attraction is in the eye of the beholder, and people are attractive for their personality and thoughts as much as, if not more, than their physical shell. Hold out for the right one and love yourself until then.
✨Deferential Devil✨
What might save most
wont save them all
What kills some
could save many
What makes you,
might break others
Learning others is key
trying despite it all
is imperative
✨Deferential Devil✨
It’s not the color of the windows
for which I fall,
because peeking through wispy blinds,
is a soul,
sometimes tattered, well worn,
or even a bit that’s torn
It’s not just the lovely outside
that’s lived such a life,
but the shadows and highs
the lows and the light
of a being so right which
always
sets my heart to flight
✨Deferential Devil✨
Sometimes a biting bitterness
twines to hold me captive
But it’s not too long
before bitter is crushed
under the weight of a life lesson
found amongst the debris
and an ever-hopeful heart
that refuses to drown
in anything but a soaring sweetness
✨Deferential Devil✨
I hate that his absence makes me sad
I hate that I miss the way we laughed
I hate that I can’t forget his kiss
I hate that it’s him I really miss
I hate that I can’t talk to him
Yet, I’d do it all over again
✨Deferential Devil✨
Note: I was unintentionally, but happily, inspired by the end speech from the movie, ‘10 Things I Hate About You’ in case thos strikes a familiar chord in someone.
The walls grow smaller and close in
my mind reels in it’s darkest sin
No one else to help clear my head
while more days are spent in bed
Easily tired from days of nothing
There’s no joy in everything
Monotony kills my creative side
and all I do is sit and sigh
✨Deferential Devil✨
Life doesn’t give us
what we can handle
to make us strong.
Nah, life gives us
whatever it wants
because we already have
the strength required to survive.
It’s just some days that strength
gets lost in the mire
and we forget it’s there
until we’re reminded.
✨Deferential Devil✨
I wore the ocean
to feel more like me.
It’s in my dance, my eyes,
my dreams, and the stars
Tired muscles lap at the salt
to replenish their needs
while I swim the depth
and tangle in the weeds
✨Deferential Devil✨
Deferential Devil Poetry 