Days

On my best days I’m a storm
blowing through the world,
knocking down anything
which blocks my path
or raining down my love

On my worst days
I am a disaster
A mess of a human
all emotion, tragedy, and darkness
A tsunami swallowing cities whole

But everyday, I’m still me
whether the world sees it
I won’t break to make others ok
All that does is kill my storm
but doesn’t calm my seas

✨Deferential Devil✨

Stoic

They said
“You don’t react to much”

As a woman, my reactions are considered;
loud, hostile, weak, unfriendly, emotional,
ridiculous, stupid, too much, disruptive,
and always over the top

As an abuse survivor, non reaction
means no adverse action
and often
Stoicism equals life

✨Deferential Devil✨

Nothing

I never said…
his support thrilled me
or how I adored his laugh
that he made my heart quiver
and made my spine shiver
How I missed his presence
when he was busy
and that I, who hates phones,
wanted to speak all day
But I was too afraid,
said nothing
and now that’s what I hold

✨Deferential Devil✨

Fantasy

My heart longs sometimes
unbidden and soulfully,
for the days, but especially the people
whose creativity made everyday
feel everlasting and fantastical
The magic, mayhem, and laughter
spun by their fingertips
will forever remain
in the shadows and rafters
of a tavern in a mystical land
and deep within my heart

✨Deferential Devil✨

Virus

The walls grow smaller and close in
my mind reels in it’s darkest sin
No one else to help clear my head
while more days are spent in bed

Easily tired from days of nothing
There’s no joy in everything
Monotony kills my creative side
and all I do is sit and sigh

✨Deferential Devil✨